Harvest Irk
by Scaree Monkee
Summary: Zim's life becomes warped after he is accidentally teleported into a certain video game by the name of "Harvest Moon" Lots of insanity and pixie stix influanced events!
1. The Tale of Doom Begins!

Note: If you are confused, "Harvest Moon" is a game that appears on Nintendo and Playstation. You play as a farmer, make friends, fall in love, get married, and have a baby. You also get to raise crops and farm animals and-.I'll just leave you there.for now.  
  
Another Note: Ack, I finally got around to writing a fanfic again. For those who have read "Victoria's Secret of Doom" I am still typing up the sequel. I'll get around to it next time I'm hyper.  
  
"Gir, give me that filthy sticky stuff those humans call....bubblegum." Zim was once again fixing up machinery to conquer the filth ball known as Earth. Gir just stared up at his master like he always did: stupidly. Zim glared at Gir, trying to maintain his composure. "Gir, I said give me the bubble thingie. I need the power of the bubble!" Gir stared at him with large puppy eyes. With his robotic arm, he held up one of his stuffed piggies. Zim shook his head and sighed. He went across the small jail cell sized room to get to the bubblegum. "All this walking for nothing." He muttered. "Stupid advanced robot." He stuck the bubblegum onto his new invention. "I AM DONE!!!" He yelled. He held up the new device with malicious glee. "Gir, I must go to skool now to test this new invention. Don't destroy anything this time, okay?" Gir nodded. "Okee dokee doodle!" Gir shouted while staring at his beloved piggy. Zim simply narrowed one eye at Gir, and then marched off to the skool.  
  
As usual, Zim was a few minutes early to skool. As Zim marched through the gates of the filthy, evil, scary, nasty skool, he talked about his plan with himself. Students were staring at him as if he was a nut, but they were too lazy to call the looney bin. "With this teleporter of mine, I shall rule the WORLD!!" Once again Zim held up his device with excitement. "I shall hold one connector in my hand and use the other one to connect to a certain Dib-Human's sister. Oh, he won't be expecting a single thing.Bwa.BWAHAHAHA!!!"  
  
Zim waited for his prey to walk into view. A minute later, Dib and Gaz were walking through the gates of skool as well. With his super extra special paranormal vision, Dib spotted Zim hiding in the bushes. He walked up to the bush Zim was hiding behind and crossed his arms. "What are YOU doing here, Zim?? Are you using another one of your pathetic plans for world domination? Huh?!?!" Dib glared at the bush. The bush did not reply. The moronic skool children were now scared. Now there were TWO psychos in the same place. Little kindergarteners ran started crying. Gaz opened one of her eyes and stared at Dib. "Dib, not even a bush would reply to you." Dib shook his head and replied, "No Gaz. Zim is hiding in the bush, and I'll prove it to you!" Dib dove into the bush. As a human, Dib wouldn't like bushes unless they had needles. This one didn't have needles.except for the needles on top of the bush.  
  
Dib yelped in pain. "Owie, my spleen!" He held his sides and bent over. Gaz smirked at her brother while he rolled around on the ground. Zim held up one connector in each claw. "Now, time for some DOOM!" Zim grasped one of the connectors in his claw and thrust the other onto Gaz's hand. "Victory!!!" Zim yelled out. "Wha-?" Gaz turned around, her eyes meeting the green kid standing behind her.  
  
Before Zim noticed, the connector plugged into her GS2. He grinned manically and pressed a big shiny red button in the hand he was not using. Electrical zaps traveled through Zim's arms and legs. "Victory for-- NOODLES!!! I can't feel my limbs!" Gaz raised an eyebrow as Zim was swirling into a giant warp. "Nooo!!" Zim bellowed out. Before anyone realized anything Zim was completely trapped inside of the evil video game device.  
  
Gaz's stared down at her GS2. Apparently Dib's spleen seemed to heal quickly. He slowly stood up, and then lunged himself towards the GS2. The GS2 crashed to the ground. "Gaz! Don't touch that! Zim could take over your brains!" Gaz half glared half gawked at Dib. ".You." Dib's eye's widened. "Gaz., it was either the Game Slave or the Earth." Gaz's hands clenched into fists. ".You will die a horrible death now, Dib." She took a step towards Dib. Dib stared down on the ground. His eyes were captured by the gleam of the game device. "Uh, Gaz? The GS2 is fine, and you're not game over." Gaz stared at her GS2, and then at Dib. She then replied, "You're lucky this time, but you still have to pay." Gaz kicked Dib in the shins. Again, he yelped and rolled around on the ground. Gaz then picked up her game slave 2 and switched the on button. On the screen a little sign with the letters "Harvest Moon" scrolled across the screen. Under it a little green boy ran across the screen with his dog.  
  
Heh, sorry this is a bit short. I promise the next one will be longer. R/R please! 


	2. What is This 'Farming' You Speak Of?

A/N: WHEE!!! Chaptie twoooo..Ack, what did I eat today?! I feels hyper! .Know what this means?!?! More hyperactive psychotic Zimmy fun!!!! Yay! Hehe yes you heard me right! Mwahahahaha..*people stare*...I'll shut up now..  
  
Disclaimer: Okay, it's obvious that I don't own the characters of Invader Zim or Harvest Moon, but I DO.or.DID own this orange! Hyper hyper hyper..heee.  
  
"Insert your farmer's name and devote your life to the underworld.now," Gaz typed in the letters 'Z-i-m' into the game. "Great! Name your dog," Gaz shrugged and typed in the letters 'G-i-r', but only because the green puppy looked a LOT like that stupid dog Zim had. It was currently lunchtime at skool. Gaz turned on her game only minutes ago as they were thankfully let out to eat some so called 'food'. While other kids were clutching their spleenies after their poisonous meals Gaz and Dib sat at their own table in silence. Since Dib knew exactly where Zim was, he simply glanced at Gaz's game often enough to not face the wrath of his scary sister. A thought came into Dib's oversized head. "Hey, Gaz.Are you able to.Kill the characters in the game?" Dib questioned. Gaz answered by shoving her hand in Dib's face and turning her back towards him. Dib shook his head, sighed, and went back to his thinking.  
  
(Now for the moment we've been all waiting for..Can you feel it?!)  
  
The scene changes to a regular looking field of grass. A spooky looking wiggly stick figure trots (For some reason that word sounds funny.) up to a random place on the field. He sets the box down, clears his throat. Now he is ready to enlighten us with words of wisdom! YAY! "The bunnies chew passionately on my leg! It feels good! You! Machine tinker toy boy! Chew my chicken head! He's friends with the pineapples! We shall defeat them together as one and a half!" People stop to stare at the crazed Happy Noodle Boy. "The pineapples squeak to me in a foreign language.I suck leaves now!" HNB stuffed a pile of leaves into his mouth. He then jumps onto a large lady's head and pulls on her earrings. "Run piggy, run piggy, RUN RUN RUN!!! To the tricycle! We must go after the jello molds! Jiggily wiggily piggily figgily! WOW! A blue car!" A little big headed twenty five year old tugged on his mommy's coat. "Mommy, why is that scary man saying weird stuffs?" The teary eyed little boy asked. "Mommy will solve problem" The truck driver voiced mommy replied. She took out a gun and shot the noodle boy on the head. He died. Everyone was happy. Even the pineapples. Okay, maybe not.but everyone else was happy. They danced around a Christmas tree and sang Puff the Magic Dragon until their heads blew up. Mmm.Head explody!  
  
After the convenient short story that you either read or skipped, Gaz finally finished adding all the required information needed to play the game.  
  
Zim slowly rose from a bed. "Eh? Where am I?!" he wondered to himself. Apparently, he was in a small cabin with a small bookcase, a TV, and a table with one chair. Some force told him to run outside. "I'm not going outside! Can't make me! Hmph!" he yelled. He stood in the middle of the room for a moment. "Oh, stupid force thingies! I told you not to bother me when it was Zim's hour!" He mumbled a few words and then ran outside.  
  
"Hello there, Zim." A short clown like man walked up to him. Zim pointed and gawked at the man who was shorter than him (wow, now that's scary). "AHHH!!! THE CLOWNS!!!" Zim screeched. "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU..clown.y..FACE HUMAN!" The man laughed, his stomach moving up and down.just like jello! J- e-ll-o It's alllliiive! "Ho ho ho. Don't worry, Zim. I am the mayor." "..The ruler of this stink planet is a clown?! MADNESS!" Zim ran around in circles until he stubbed his foot on the mailbox. He then yelped in pain and cursed one thousand Irken swear words. "Uh, yea. I just wanted to welcome you to the village.and stuff. You remember this village, don't you?"  
  
The scene in the game switched to a black and white farm scene with slow happy hill billy music in the background. "Eh? Where am I? Why is everything so dark?" Zim yelled out. "Zim, you cannot go to the city this summer because..well..We don't like you. Mmmyep. We're going to make you stay with your grandpa for the summer so your mother and I will be able to make a trip around the world without you annoying us." The scene faded.  
  
The next scene took place at a farm. Sadly, everything was still black and white. An old drunk farmer loomed over Zim. "Why, hello sonny. I know this place isn't all that exciting.You know, with me working and all. That means you're going to be helping me with some of the work!" Pictures flashed by the screen of Zim cleaning up.erm.dookie in the cow barn with Grandpa in the background happily eating a sandwich, Zim feeding the chickens, A hoard of chickens chasing after the screaming Zim (That's actually happened to me before. Mommy chickens are evvvill..and delicious.) , and last, but certainly not least, Zim by the river with the dog splashing his 'superior' skin. After this quite interesting set of screenshots, we see Zim sitting under a tree fixing one of his lasers. A little girl walks by humming to herself. Zim, with his renewed laser aims it at the little girl. When he pulled on the trigger the laser exploded on him, thus leaving a black faced Zim. The little girl turned her head towards the explosion. For a moment, their eyes met. Ahh.Spring is finally here. ".Ewwww, your face is ugly!" The little girl threw dirt at Zim's face. Wait..that wasn't dirt..that was..Ah, you don't want to know. It took two grueling weeks for the smell to disappear.  
  
Finally, summer was over and the horrible skool season was coming back once again. As Zim was walking out of the village, the little girl came running after him. "Hey! Wait!" she yelled. Zim turned around, one eye squinted. "I.I just wanted to say goodbye to you." The little girl said, red faced and sweaty from running. Zim waved his hand in the air and replied, "Yes, yes. You may say goodbye to the almighty ZIM! because I am ZIM!" The little girl smiled. A secret smile. You know, those smiles that people get when they know something you don't.Those annoy me.They make me cry and pound my fists on the ground and make screamy voices that eat my brains and spew my special fingers on the sidewalk where the dog sniffs them and runs away screamy too. .Oh, did I just say that? I was talking about.uhh.DIB! Yes, Dib!  
  
Anyway, the little girl hugged Zim (aww, how cute). "Do you promise to come back again?" Zim twitched at this sudden change of emotions coming from the girl. "I may come back, Earth child, but the chickens will have to stop pecking my human organ filled neck before that happens. So, I will leave now. Here I go." Zim walked off onto the sunset. What he didn't know was that he had a note tapped onto his back. A super special note I may add. Crude words were written on the paper never to be decoded by anyone, well, except for the girl. As dense as he was, Zim never realized he had a note on his back. He still has the note tapped on his back ten years later! The scene ends with Zim disappearing into the sunset and the little girl staring at him, laughing to herself.  
  
"...blahblahblahblah I'm the mayor of this village." The Mayor rambled. "..Eh?" Zim shook himself out of his flashback mode. He was back in his colorful video game world, the scary clown man standing in front of him. "I said, I hope you have a nice time at this village. We will give you three years before we will evaluate your progress. If we think you are a pitiful moron, wait, I mean not worthy enough to uphold the farm we will kick you out of the village. It hurts. Did I mention that I'm the mayor of this village?" "Yes, pitiful clown mayor-human. You did." Zim replied, nodding his head. The Mayor narrowed his eyes. "I'll just pretend that you didn't say that. Well, should I show you around the village?" "I am not going to have a pitiful huuuuuuuuuman help me! I can do my own.uh..what's that word again?" The mayor rolled his eyes. "Looking around?" he replied. "Yes, that's the one! I shall do my own looking around." Suddenly Zim waved his arms in the air. "I will do the BEST looking around..EVER!" The Mayor slowly backed away, wondering if he would live to see night ever again. He took out his tiny clown mobile, jumped into the car, and sped off.  
  
After five minutes of talking/being screamy to himself, Zim stopped to look around. "I wonder how I can get out of this hideous place.This is just not right!" Zim took out his communicator from his pod. "GIR! Where are you?" Only static replied. "...Gir? Eh, I guess he's busy with that pig or something." The communicator popped back into his pod. For six (a nice change instead of five) more minutes he just stood staring at the weed (no not that kind of weed) filled field. "This place is a MESS! The person, that 'grandfather' of mine must have been a real lazy dookie butt!" Zim looked into his pod for anything that would help him to clean up the mess. Surprisingly he found rusted tools. "Eh? I didn't have these before. These are pitiful human tools, but I guess they will have to do until I can find a source for Irken tool building." He 'equipped' himself with a hammer. He walked up to a small rock and crushed it into tiny inscrutable pieces. "Victory for ZIM!" He continued to crush tiny rocks for most of the day.  
  
At noontime, Zim was too tired to work anymore. He noticed that he could tell how tired he was getting by the actions he did after a certain amount of time doing work. After he broke the last small rock on the field, he fell to the ground, face blue and eyes closed. "Ah, this work tires me." He grumbled. A crawly thing climbed his leg. Zim look down to meet eyes with a spider. He pointed at it with his super special finger. "Who are you?" The spider's front legs twitched. "Do not mock the almighty INVADER ZIM! You don't know what powers you're dealing with!" The spider blinked his eight eyes one at a time. "What do you mean I'm stinky? You're just jealous that I smell better than you! You smell all smelly!" Zim jumped up from the ground pointing at the spider. "I now use mighty foot to squish you!" Zim lifted his foot and slammed it down on the spider. A familiar gothic girl's voice replaced Zim's regular voice. "I told you to not invoke my wrath!" Zim then shook his head, his voice returning to normal. "Wait, I didn't say that."  
  
"Hi there!" Zim turned around to meet eyes with a human. A freaky smiley human at that. She had large red eyes and pink hair that curled on the ends. She wore a white shirt with a corset over it. Her red dress that ended at her feet swayed at her every move. Did I mention that she was smiley? "Stand away, pink hair pig beast! Zim replied. "Hehe, you're funny! I'm Popuri! I work at the chicken farm next to your farm! Isn't that great?! You can buy chickens and chickens and other neat chickens there! I force my brother Rick and my sick mother to do all the work for me, but I sure love flowers!" Zim cocked his head in confusion. This human was almost or equally scary as the clown-mayor. "Smelly human! I do not need to hear your life story! I have my business to tend to! And stop using exclamation marks!" Popuri's smile fell only to rise up again to an insane maniac smile. "Okee dokee arty chokie! I'll see you later, okay? I like flowers.." Popuri walked away picking dandelions. Zim shook his head. "Yes, that pinky-human IS spookier than clown-mayor." He walked away in the other direction, making sure that he would not encounter the spooky pink hair girl ever again. Oh, how wrong he was.So very wrong.  
  
Meanwhile in Invader Zim reality, Gaz continued to play her GS2. "What am I supposed to do in this? This game is stupid!" she thought to herself as she pressed buttons. She felt a light poke on her arm. "Hey, sis?" Dib asked. Gaz raised her fist towards Dib. "Go away Dib before I reach into that big head of yours and pound your tiny brain flat." She growled. "My head's NOT big! Pizza's here and-." He was cut off by Gaz. "Pizza?" Her eyes widened. She pushed Dib out of the way to get to the tasty yummy gooey filthy pizza. Dib fixed his glasses and ran after his sister. "So, have you killed Zim yet?" he asked. "Quiet. Eating." Gaz replied, pizza in mouth, game in hand. Dib shook his head and sighed. He took a slice from the pizza box and ate it in two bites. "Wow! Mysterious Mysteries is on in two minutes!" Dib took the last slice of pizza in the box and ran to the couch. Gaz reached her hand out to get a pizza, but unsurprisingly there were no slices left. Gaz clenched her free hand into a fist and growled. "Dib. Will. PAY!"  
  
The bell on the door knob jingled as it was pushed open. Zim looked around in the pitiful human shop. "Well, I suppose this is cleaner than most places," he muttered. A little black hair man stood behind the counter. "Hello, you must be new here. My name is Jeff. This is the local supermarket where you can buy your seeds for farming, cooking, and other random objects I find at the local village dump. Like this squeak toy!" Jeff held up a pig squeak toy and squeezed the little piggy so it made a cute squeaking noise. Zim narrowed one eye. "Ooookay. What is this 'farming' you speak of?" "You just plant stuff, buy and take care of animals, go fishing, forage for money, get rich.." One hour later Jeff finished his little speech. ".run around town riding a pig, eat a moose, and then go insane because of your boring dead end job. That's all you have to do to be a farmer! Um, Hey? Hello? Are you still here?" Everyone in the store had deserted Jeff. Jeff hung his head low and stared at his now empty hand. "I guess it's just you and me again, piggy..." The pig was no where to be found.  
  
Zim ran out of the store hastily. "These humans are filled with madness! And I still don't know what a farmer is!" He walked passed the hospital. "I'll visit that human store tomorrow, I guess," He shrugged and began to walk back to the cabin. It was almost 3 PM. "Wait, where is that housing unit?" He muttered to himself.  
  
The bells of the church rang, informing that the sun was about to set. Zim was sitting on a bench next to the church. He was using his brains to figure out which direction would lead to the shack. "Hmm..It could be to my right..but what if I was wrong and it was straight ahead on the other route!" A short black haired kid walked up to Zim. He poked Zim in the eye with a stick. "Hello mister green man! Are you lost?" "Ow! Yes! I mean, no, no I could easily find my way around this town little Earth monkey. It is just a matter of time before I reach my shelter unit." The little kid stared dumbly at Zim. A retarded smile formed on his face. "I like flowers, but don't tell anyone!" Zim narrowed one eye. "Yes, yes." Zim replied. Soon these flowers will help me with worl-I mean worm bab- Wait." His eyes glossed over as he dreamed of taking over the Earth. The little boy ran away crying like.a little boy crying. Zim heard the slam of a door a block away. "Stupid worm babies. This place is as worse than that.other place.I live at. These people are just dieing to die! And stuff!" Zim stood up from the bench and kicked the ground. He decided to go into the church to see if someone was worthy enough to give him directions to his crummy shack.  
  
Inside the church many rows of pews sat on both ends on the room. 'Inspiring' music loomed through the room making everyone calm and peaceful. Even Zim was feeling the soothing affects of the church. A lone minister stood in the front of the room reading from a large book. He looked up at his new visitor and smiled. "Hello brother. I am Pastor Carter. What may I do to help you?" Zim rubbed his chin in thought. "Yes, you seem worthy enough to answer my question. Pastor-Beast, I have come here to get directions to this 'farm' place I live at." Zim answered.  
  
"Oh, that old farm where that man recently passed on? You just take the road straight ahead until it becomes a dead end. Then you take a right from there and pass the chicken farm until you reach a sign. I'd think you'd know the rest of the way, yes?" "Yes, yes, I do. You have been a good help for me. I'll give you my honorary thumbs up." Zim's right hand slowly formed into a thumbs up. Pastor Carter smiled.  
  
"Well, I thank you for visiting here. You may come here every Sunday if you want to praise the Goddess." "Goddess? What is this 'Goddess' you speak of?" Zim questioned. "Well," Carter began. "She is the one who supplies us with food and makes this world a comfortable place to live at." "I see," Zim replied, an idea forming in his mind. "And without this Goddess, the Earth would shrivel up for, say, an Invader to take over." Pastor Carter paused for a moment. "Come to think of it, most likely. The world would collapse under its own weight. But that will never happen. The Goddess is invincible, eternal."  
  
"That gives me an idea.." Zim muttered under his breath, smirking to himself. Carter gawked at Zim. "What? That gives me diarrhea?" "Yes! It's brilliant! Ingenius!" Zim began to laugh maniacally. The pastor took out a bible from under his table and handed it to Zim. "Okay the church is closing early today before I have to clean up any grotesque body materials..again. Those little kids are messy, you know? Thank you for visiting the church and may the Goddess save us all." He said as he pushed Zim out the door and onto the stone ground. Zim did not notice that he was out of the church. "Mwahaha-Oh and no that does not give me diarr-Eh?" Zim looked at his surroundings. He shook his head. "Stupid Pastor-Beast. He will work in the salt mines when I rule this planet.I will 'farm' my way to ruling the world with my ruling hoe!" Zim yelled out as he took out his hoe and raised it high for all to see.  
  
The moon was high above the sky as Zim walked back to the farm. "A productive first day. I'll find more information, build some stuff using my super Irken brains, and then I'll get out of this stink hole AND rule all mankind! It'll all be neat!" He walked up to the door of the shack, turned around, and raised his arms in victory. "Victory for ZIIIM!"  
  
END (for now)  
  
So, did you like Zim's first *interesting* day? Yes? Anyway I'll be updating this and we can all watch as Zim goes through the entire Harvest Moon game with Gaz controlling some of the events.That is.If people like and review it. I'm planning on going through most of the festivals from the play station version of the game and maybe a few from the N64 as well as non festival days..It all depends on my time and the popularity of the story, so if you like it, review please!  
  
Oh, and Gir fans do not fear! Gir will make an appearance in the next chapter! Yay! 


	3. A Little Visit to the Library….And More!

Well, from request there **are going to be more IZ characters in this. It just makes it a lot more fun.…Oh, and if my retarded scanner ever does work I may put up some art for this story that I've drawn during the past month. *watches as people start screaming and running away* ….what? My art isn't _that bad! *sigh* Well, enjoy chapter three!_**

Chapter 3

A Little Visit to the Library….And More!

It was the third day of spring as Zim arose from his human bed. He reached out for his contacts which were set on the nightstand. "Ugh, another pitiful morning on this pitiful planet." He jumped out of his bed and took a look around the room. "At least I'm not in that stupid video game I thought I was in.…" he thought. Zim then turned to the TV. "Computer, make me some breakfast." No answer. "Computer, give your master, ZIM some breakfast!" Still no answer. Zim walked up to the tv and began to switch a few buttons.

"If it's Tuesday, then it's the cooking hour! With your host, Keef and his squirrel assistant, Zim!"

"Hi everybody! Let's make waffles!"

"NOOOO!!!!" Zim screeched. He attempted to switch the turner on the tv, but it seemed to be broken.

"Now, first you get this delightful waffle maker." Keef pulled out a pink waffle machine with the words 'I (heart) Zim!' on top of it. "You put the mix in and wait for a few minutes!" The squirrel pushed the waffle maker into the sink. "And then, when it is YAAARG!!!" The squirrel giggled insanely and then jumped towards the camera. "What the…?! OW MY PUPILS!!! GET OFF MY PUPILS YOU *beep* *beep* RABID SQUIRREL!!!!" The camera shifted widely and then crashed to the ground. Everything went static, but you could still hear what everyone was saying. "Oww..…I thought you liked waffles Zim….." Glad that the show was over, Zim turned to another channel….

"Farmer Bitters, Farmer Bitters!"

"Yes, doomed child?"

"When I was trying to draw with a pencil nothing appeared on the paper. I then noticed that the pencil made a large gash through my hand. The doctors gave me this band-aid to make the boo boo all better!" The camera zoomed in on a small pokemon band-aid that was tapped over the middle of a large gash.

"I remember when I first used a pencil…." Oh no! A flashback!

A child sized bitters was writing learning how to write in kindergarten. She was holding the pencil with the eraser towards the paper writing curvy invisible letters. Suddenly the pencil was zapped into a squeaky pig. The pig growled at the young Ms. Bitters and attacked her. "EEEK! Where are my eyes?!" Everything went black as a little girl screamed for her mommies.

"….And that's why I wear these glasses. You, me, we're just doomed. Doomed…..Doomed……"

"Thank you Farmer Bitters! Now I know to never use a pencil ever again!"

Zim clenched his hands into fists. "Why couldn't that piggy eat her spleenie?! Stupid time object replacement device…." He muttered to no one but himself. "Wait a second….Argh! I'm still in that video game!" He sighed. "It isn't any use. There are no computers this farm. It feels not right!" Zim stood in the middle of the room in silence. For once in his life there were no sounds near him whatsoever. The silence was broken once he heard a familiar scream from outside. Can you guess who it is? Come on, it isn't that hard….

"WheeEEHOOO!!! You made tacos for me again!!! I'm gonna hug you!" a squealy voiced squealed out.

"…..Help?" A girl from outside whimpered.

Well, if you haven't guessed who it is already, I'm sorry to say this but you've either not watched enough IZ or you're a complete moron. Okay, I'm kidding, but you should know who it is by now….

Zim walked out the door to see Gir in his dog suit. He had his arms around a girl's head. "Gir! What are you doing here?!" Gir turned his head to stare at Zim. "Mary Berry made me tacos!" Gir yelled back squealy like. 

"How on Irk did you get here?" Zim asked. Gir paused his hugging to rub his chin.

"Uhh…I was havin' a tea party with pig and moose! Pig wanted less sugar in his tea so I went to the living room to put the fluffy stuff from a pillow into the tea! And then-"

"Gir! Get to the part where you got here!" An irked Zim yelled out.

"Okee dokee! You called me from somewhere and you were bein' all screamy so I went to the taco place and ate lotsa tacos and I saw a little piggy in a box and this one person said 'dat dere is an action figure so get your muddy paws off em toys' I thought it looked yummy so I took the toy out of the box and people were bein' all nice to me telling me to go away so I went away all happy with the pig in my tummy and then I saw that big head boy….WHY IS HIS HEAD SO BIIIG….at the playground with that little toy thingie you made for yourself so I ran over there cuz I wanted to play with him and that other girl but She was makin all these faces at me and I pressed some buttons and I saw dizzy stuff and then I met Mary Berry! (That sentence hurt your eyes, yes?)"

"Umm, can you please get off my head. I think my circulation is being cut off…." The young ebony haired girl whimpered weakly. Gir jumped off of Mary's head and latched onto Zim's head.

"Master!!" Gir cried out. Zim cringed and detached Gir's arms from his head, throwing him down to the ground.

"So, you know this little terror?" Mary asked, eyes directed to the ground.

"Yes, yes. This is my robot slave."

Mary stared at Zim in disbelief. "A Robot?" she asked.

"I mean my dog slave." Zim quickly retorted.

"Oh. So that's what it is. That's good because my parents were getting furious at him. He was eating all the food from the refrigerator and ate one of my dad's exotic flowers. Luckily he isn't here right now. He's on a trip to France to search for more exotic plants. Anyway, I must be going, especially because I don't like dogs. If you want to check out some books you can stop by at the library from 10AM to 4PM." And with that, the shy Mary began to walk away. Before she reached the road she turned around and said, "Oh, and my name is Mary." She cutely smiled at Zim and then left.

"Mary! Come back! Gimmie tacos!!!" Gir cried out, running after Mary. Zim rolled his eyes. "Gir! We have no time for your tacos! We must get out of this spooky…spook place!"

Zim and Gir were now back in the shack (Hey, that rhymes!). Gir was eating most of the food supply while Zim was looking for books in the small bookcase.

"Lets see here….Baby Sitting 4 you, The Half Butt Way for House Upgrades, Cannibalism; Is it for You?, The Guide to Harvest Moon, How to Destroy Dib. Ooh, I shall take this one for later….Wait!" Zim took out the 'The Guide to Harvest Moon' manual. With a smirk, he looked over his shoulder and then took the 'How to Destroy Dib' guide as well. He opened up the Harvest Moon Guide. BOOM! The book went poof and left globs of smoke on the floor and on Zim's face. Gir looked up from eating a turnip and glue sandwich. "Heeheehee! You look like a cow! BAA!" Gir yelled out as he stuffed the rest of the sandwich into his gigantic mouth. A beam of light appeared in front of Zim. A familiar figure came into vision wearing a puffy pink dress.

"Zim, you idiot! You're not supposed to use the manual! That's cheating, you know."

"Eh? Then why did you put this book here?" Zim retorted.

"Well, I thought it would be funny for your head to blow up if you opened it, but I guess it only made your face black….Too bad."

"I am NOT going to lose in this game, puny human!" Zim yelled back. The figure shook her head, sighing. She then came into view. Zim's jaw dropped.

"……Tak?!" Tak, wearing her human disguise glared at Zim.

"I know, I know. Don't ask. Some psycho girl named 'Scaree Monkee' strangled me and gave me moneys to be some 'goddess' for this human game. I agreed because I need the moneys anyway. Come to think of it, she hasn't paid me yet…." Zim continued to gawk at Tak. "………BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!" Zim clutched his squeedily spooch with one hand. A bright light came from Tak's fingertips. She aimed the energy at Zim and then……

"HAHAHAHAHAHA…HA…..ha……..Eh?!" Zim looked downwards to see he was wearing a fluffy pink tutu with matching ballet shoes.

"Gah! Get it off! Get it off!!" Zim leaped gracefully around the room in his new costume. Tak smirked. "Oh? You want it to come off?" With a twiddle of her fingers she zapped Zim once again. This time he was in a bunny suit holding a Halloween bucket. "AHHH! Bunnies!!" He began to hop around the room smacking into random objects. ZAP! Zim was now in a clown costume. "OH MY IRKEN GODS! NOT THE CLOWNS!" Tak smirked. She was not about to move an inch until she got what she wanted.

"Grr….OKAY! I stopped laughing! Do you not see?"

Tak thought hard about this. "Well, I guess I'll just get more revenge on you later." She used her Goddess powers to restore Zim's Irken uniform. With a puff of smoke (and lasers), she was gone.

Gir jumped onto the table and began to twirl around on his toes. "Heehee! Lookit my feet masta! They're pointy!"

"Gir! Stop that nonsense! We must find a valid way to get out of this human game….thing." Gir saluted, smacking his forehead.

"Yes sir!" He fell over and sent a few cups onto the ground with him. "I AM THE SWAN QUEEN!!!!"

"Sure you are, Gir. Sure." Zim kicked the shattered cups to the side of the room. He then picked up Gir by the collar. "Now, to that place where that human female works and stuff!"

"Yay! Stuff!"

People of the village stared at the green boy and the unidentified object he was dragging behind him. Particularly three ladies huddling together at the village square.

"Hey, isn't that green guy the farmer of that pitiful farm?" The golden haired lady asked (eh, I forgot their names. I don't like them).

"I think so," The puffy black hair lady replied. "He looks weird. I wouldn't want my girl to marry him."

"I'd agree, but my daughter ran away from home, so….like, you know." The other black hair lady replied. "I still don't know what I did wrong. I thought I was the perfect mother. I fed her once a week, kicked her when she asked for dessert, locked her into the closet, and I made her taste test ALL of the wine that was made in the orchid. Doesn't gallons and gallons of wine make little girls happy?" The lady began to sob. "I….I can't talk much longer even though I talk all the time and people tell me to go away when I talk for a long time. I hate you girls! I'm going to go home…..wait, no. Not now. I mean now. Wait I'm still talking….I'll just go," The lady ran away sobbing with her face buried into her hands.

"We really should find another place to chat. I'm tired of her stalking me when I'm in the bathroom." Anna grumbled. (Yay! I finally remember one of their names. 

"Mmmyep." The other lady replied in a monotone voice, staring at her nails.

Zim kicked the door of the library open. Mary looked up from her writings.

 "Oh, it's you Zim." She set her pen down and weakly smiled at Zim. "Do you need any help on finding a certain book?"

"Actually, yes I do library slave. Do you happen to have any books on how to get out of this stupid game?" Zim ordered.

"What do you mean?" Mary questioned.

"I wish get out of this game and go back to the stinky human world. I have….business…..to tend to." Zim answered.

As Zim and Mary were holding a somewhat average conversation, Gir was up to no good once again. He took out a few picture books for his own amusement. "Curious George! That's the scary monkey's brotha! Woot!" He giggled and flipped the pages of the book. After he was done with his story time he ran to the side of the library where Zim was explaining his 'business'.

"Yes, yes, a manual! Something to help me with this 'farming'! Insolent library slave!"

"Oh, okay. I have some books that'll help you with your work. Come this way." Mary led Zim over to an area of books. Gir jumped onto the desk. "Ooooh…..pens….." He picked up the pen and examined it. A second later it was inside his mouth going down who knows what. Gir then noticed the book resting on top of the desk. He picked it up and began to read it aloud.

"Deep in the moonlight, Maria stood by her window to look up at the stars. 'Someday I will travel along with the stars with the person whom I love most….' She thought. At the same moment a prince looked outside his window from his room. 'Someday I will rule this place, this world.' He thought to himself.

'Someday my wishes shall come true.'"

Gir giggled. "I like this story! Mister piggy prince is like master!" Mary turned around to see Gir holding her novel. "Ack! Don't touch that!!" She dropped her books and ran up to Gir, snatching the book away from him. "I'm not finished writing that, and you can't read it." She scolded. Her face looked as if it were about to overflow with lava. Gir stared up at Mary, tears in his eyes. "Aww….I wanted to see prince master and Maria be smootchie smootchie!!" Maria face turned a shade redder (I didn't know that was possible). She knelt down to lock her book away into a drawer partially to hide her face from her strange visitors. Zim arched one of his eyes.

"Eh, why was your face red? Is this something worm-babies do?" Zim asked as he pointed at Mary's hiding face. Mary kept her face below the desk.

"Oh, it's just that…..I'm allergic to dogs. Can you take your little dog outside?"

"I suppose. My work here is done, library slave monkey." Zim replied. He picked up the books from the ground, including his dancing robot. He saluted to Mary, and then walked out of the library door.

As Zim was walking back to his farm the worker from the supermarket stood up from a little bench next to the library. He brushed back his hair and smiled at Zim.

"Hey, Zim! What's going on?" Jeff asked.

"Not that you would care mustache male, but I am taking these books with me to my farm. I will train myself to be the best human farmer in this puny game."

"……..Oh, uh, cool!" Jeff replied, a bit dazed. He just couldn't handle _that much information in his head all at once. "Can I come with you?" Zim stared blankly at Jeff for a moment._

"No." He walked away dragging Gir behind him.

"Bye bye mister girlie boy!" Gir yelled out as he waved both of his arms. Jeff sighed happily. You could almost see a little invisible pink heart by his mouth….Oh, what the heck. A little pink heart appeared by his mouth. "Somebody loves me….." Jeff murmured. He walked away whistling the 'Barney Theme Song'.

In ten minutes Zim and Gir arrived at the farm. Zim set the pile of books on the table and unhooked Gir from his leash. "You have chicken blankets!" Gir yelled out. He hopped onto the bed and poked one of the embroidered chickens in the eye. "Heeheehee! Chicken!" As Gir began to jump on the bed, pretending to squish the chicken, Zim picked up the book on the top of the stack. The title of the book was 'The Hot Springs'. He flipped through the pages quickly. "Yes, this_ hot springs should prove to be useful, even though it contains water." Zim pondered. He slammed the book shut with one hand, the other hand pointing up in the air._

"To the hot springs!" he yelled.

Gir waved his arms in circles. "Yay! What's hot springs?"

Gir did not get a reply. Before the robot knew it the leash was hooked onto his collar and they were off towards the springs.

Luckily, the hot springs were conveniently located right next to the farm. The springs were enclosed by a wooden fencing. Zim opened the doors to the hot springs. "Whee! Let's go swimming, pig!" Gir took out his rubber piggie from inside his head and threw it into the pond. "Doo dee doo! Here I come!" Gir dove into the springs, still in his dog suit. He began to have a water fight with his piggy. Zim hesitantly walked up to the pond. He dipped his finger in. "AHH! HOT HOT HOT!!!" He quickly pulled his finger out of the pond. Even though he had covered himself in paste in the beginning of the day, there was still a burning sensation in his finger from the heat of the water. He shook his head. "I _am going to go into this stink human pond." Zim said to himself. Slowly, he dipped one foot at a time into the pond. He winced at the hotness, yet was determined to get himself into the pond without screaming. "Aww, master. It's fun!" Gir smiled and splashed some water at Zim. "Gah! Gir! Oooooh, you'll pay for this one!" Zim jumped into the pool and began to chase after Gir._

"You were fun today master! Right, piggie?" The piggie blinked twice.

"Yes, I suppose." A panting Zim replied. He sat at the corner of the pool, exhausted from chasing Gir.

"This hot springs isn't _that bad, for a human invention, I guess. But it sure is pretty hot."_

"Maybe that's why they call it the _hot springs, green boy."_

"Eh?" Zim turned around to meet eyes with a pretty brunette hair girl. She had two blonde streaks on the front of her hair. She stood next the pool, arms crossed.

"Who are you?" Zim asked, pointing up to the girl.

"Karen, and you won't be seeing me all that much. Why are you wearing your clothes in the hot springs anyway?" Karen asked, arching a brow.

"Well…..uhh……Aren't normal worm babies supposed to wear their clothes in the water?"

"No. _Normal humans have something called a 'bathing suit', or they just go in naked." Karen replied, shaking her head in annoyance. Zim's jaw dropped._

"….Naked? As in no clothing to protect you? Madness!"

"Well, actually some people _like to wear no clothes, but they just have serious mental problems." Karen replied, with her father, Jeff in mind. She shuddered at the very thought of her father. Zim raised an invisible brow._

"I see…..I know Gir likes to run around naked."

"Oh. That little dog of yours looks stupid, by the way."

"He's not stupid, he's advaaaanced" Zim replied, motioning to Gir.

"I'm a little moosie, short and pig," Gir sang out loud. "Come on, pig! Sing along!" Gir continued to sing to himself. Karen rolled her eyes.

"I knew I shouldn't have come here. Don't bother me from now on." Karen said as she walked away.

"Stupid human! She should have been honored to be in the presence of a more superior species!" Zim yelled out. He scratched his butt and burped. "Ahhhh, that's better. I hate it when space sodas give you gas…." He muttered. "Come now, Gir. I think I've had enough of this 'hot springs' today." Gir jumped out of the pool and landed next to Zim. "Okee dokee!"

"Now, Gir. Don't stay up past 11 pm. I don't want anymore tacos made from the television wires during the night." Zim ordered. Gir's eyes flashed red. "Yes!" Gir then began to laugh insanely as he pulled out wires from the television. "Gir! What did I say about not making tacos out of those wires?"

"That….that they're good 'n zesty?" Gir answered as he nibbled on a wire.

"No, Gir. I think I'm going to have to turn your brain off for the night."

"No, not that master! I think with my brain…..I think……I donno…." Gir whimpered, pointing to his neck. "I still have to give pig that tea party and….bzzzt" Zim switched Gir's brain off. "There, that should shut him up for awhile," he muttered. He walked over to the small table, open a book, and read deep into the night.

Gaz turned off her GS2, put it on her nightstand, and turned off the lights. She fell asleep dreaming about flying vampire piggies. "……Ok. She's asleep." A shadow slithered into her room. The figure, holding a tape recorder punched a few buttons. "Umm….testing? 1…2…3? Does this work? It should work….not like when that one cow tipped over my recorder the last time……oh, ahem. Operation, Destroy alien Zim in progress…" Dib tip toed to Gaz's nightstand. Carefully, he reached for the GS2. As his hand became in contact with the game counsel he quickly grabbed it away, holding it up in the air. "Yesss! Victory for Earth!" Dib yelled out. ZAP! BOOM! SQUIRRELS! The GS2 slowly floated downward, Gaz catching it before it reached the floor. She set the GS2 back onto her nightstand along with Zim's invention. "Heh. I guess this invention is useful for something." Gaz said, smirking. She hopped back into bed, happier than she was previously, for tomorrow there was no annoying Dib drinking the last soda.

…Wow, you survived! Good for you! I hope you enjoy this story as much as I do, if not more. Well, off to more writing. See ya later!


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